Free AK-47s

"AK-47, the very best there is. When you absolutely, positively, got to kill every motherf**ker in the room; accept no substitutes. "

Florida Company Offering Free AK-47s for People Opening New Accounts With Them:

MerchantService.com -- a Sarasota-based company that provides the equipment and processing for credit-card transactions in businesses -- announced its "Free AK-47 Giveaway" yesterday, offering an AK-47 worth up to $750 for new accounts based on how much credit-card processing volume businesses put through the company.

The company doesn't exactly have a cache of AKs sitting in its stock room -- it gives you a voucher to redeem instead -- and while you don't have to get an AK-47, they'd prefer you did.

"Keep in mind we are not simply handing out AK-47 assault rifles to anyone who opens an account with us," the company says. "Instead, you will receive a voucher that can be used towards the purchase of a firearm at any reputable gun shop where you must go through the proper background checks and waiting period that the law requires. If you prefer, the voucher can also be redeemed for cash."

Previously: Free AK-47 with the purchase of a truck